×

Help us help you

If we have helped you become a better cook, please become a Pitmaster Club member and help us become a better website. Benefits for members include:

(1) Seminars with famous Pitmaster Professors
(2) Access to The Pit forum and scores of new friends
(3) An expanded Temperature Guide Magnet that selles for $9.95
(4) Gold Medal Giveaways of free grills and smokers
(5) Support for Operation BBQ Relief

Learn more about the Pitmaster Club

Not ready to subscribe yet? Return to AmazingRibs.com

AmazingRibs.com BBQ Logo

Food TV Stars

2008-05-12 The future for foodies

The NRA show is in town May 17-20. No, not that NRA. The National Restaurant Association. Don't try get a table at any of the top Chicago restaurants when this annual convention is in town. The McCormick Place aisles will be crammed with exhibitors selling everything from dishwasher soap to foie gras (yes, foie gras will be sold in Chicago). This is the place to go to spot the dining trends of the future. But I eat out a lot, so I don't need to wait until the show is over to predict some stories from the future for foodies in 2008-2009:

Tollavores. A restaurant will open where they charge by the number of miles the ingredients traveled to your plate.

No shirt, no shoes, no problem. As dress codes are stripped away, all restaurants will begin welcoming flip-flops, tank tops, and short shorts. And that's just on the wait staff.

Carn & Noble. Book stores were taking a beating from Amazon.com, so they started serving coffee, tea, and biscotti. It has been so successful that Weber Grill will buy out a struggling book chain and take them full service in 2008.

Roachmosines. Those roach coaches that call on construction sites don't want to get left out so they will start climbing upscale by switching to stretch limousines with tables and fully stocked bars inside.

TV Chef Island, The Movie. The laugh-a-minute back-of-the-house life and hijinks of the eccentric stars of the TV Chef Channel starring Bobby as Gilligan, Mario as The Captain, Emeril as Thurston Howell III, Paula as his wife Lovie, Alton as The Professor, Giada as Ginger, and Rachael as Mary Ann. The fun really begins when Gilligan finds nude pictures of Mary Ann on the internet. And you won't believe how they cook the mistletoe. Watch out, they have knives! Rating *1/2

Schmancyburgers. Burgers prices will skyrocket when fast food joints hear what Daniel Boulud (Restaurant Daniel in NYC), Thomas Keller (The French Laundry in Napa Valley), and other high priests of organolepty are getting for their wacky burgers. Boulud sells a nine ounce sirloin burger stuffed with braised short ribs, foie gras, and black truffle served on a parmesan bun for $32. The fries are free.

Molecular gas. The fusion of chemistry, physics, and marketing that they call molecular gastronomy has produced a whole new category of hi-tech restaurants and foods made by lasers and liquid nitrogen. In 2008 Apple Computer will open restaurants in their stores with edible china and silverware and touchscreen holographic waitrons.

One nation under sauce. Not content to ruin good cedar planked salmon with barbecue sauce, a restaurant chain will start putting the sticky stuff on tables along with the salt and pepper so you can use it on vegetables if you want. This may be the year barbecue sauce finally passes salsa as the #1 condiment.

Grey Gatorade. Clear ethanol in fancy frosted bottles like Grey Goose has become hot because it is cheap to make and because it is so much more elegant than taking alcohol intravenously. This year the trend will amp up as bartenders mix energy drinks with vodka to make faster, stronger drunks. Vodka sauce will graduate from popular pasta topping to give barbecue sauce a run for its money, and vodka sales may surpass wine.

Beefication. First it was Kobe beef from Japan, cut from cows weaned on sake and massaged daily to make the meat more tender (no kidding). Then it was Wagyu beef from Texas, and then Bill Kurtis began popularizing grass-fed cattle from Kansas. Hey (hay?), wasn't that the stuff our parents ate? This will be the year that genetically modified irradiated lawn clipping fed beef will debut in the US. From Southern California it will be massaged daily by Kobe Bryant's physical therapist.

Bits & shards. You know those great crunchy bits of breading from the onion rings or drumsticks in the bottom of the bag? And isn't it cool when there is occasionally a French fry shard in the bottom of the bag? Well there's more in the fryolater, and this year they will break out on their own as a side dish.

Dried guppie chips. As more and more fisheries are devoured and sustainable seafood becomes a necessity, a Japanese restaurant chain will open in Water Tower Place serving salted, dehydrated farm-raised guppies. Great with beer.

Blogicide. A famous chef will be arrested for killing a food blogger. She will argue in court that "He was an assassin. It was self defense".

Ban fried chicken. A Chicago alderman will propose banning fried chicken when he learns that raising chickens the way they do is no crueler than the way they raise foie gras. "And besides, fried food is bad for you" he said.

Gordon Ramsey's goose cooked. The chef/star of TV's Hell's Kitchen will be arrested for unfair labor practices, obscenity, and just plain being a bad example to all chefs, managers, parents, and kids. US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald will be quoted saying "This guy is what you get when you cross Jerry Springer and a prison guard. We're asking for life."

Remember: No rules in the bedroom or the kitchen. Meathead

Return to top

Please read this before posting a comment or question

grouchy?1) Please use the table of contents or the search box at the top of every page before you ask for help, then please post your question on the appropriate page.

2) Please tell us everything we need to know to answer your question such as the type of cooker and thermometer you are using. Dial thermometers are often off by as much as 50°F so if you are not using a good digital thermometer we probably can't help you. Please read this article about thermometers.

3) If you post a photo, wait a minute for a thumbnail to appear. It will happen even if you don't see it happen.

4) Click here to learn more about our comment system and our privacy promise. Remember, your login info for comments is probably different from your Pitmaster Club login info if you are a member.

Return to top

Return to top

LeaderDog.org Ad on BBQ site

About this website. AmazingRibs.com is all about the science of barbecue, grilling, and outdoor cooking, with great BBQ recipes, tips on technique, mythbusting, and unbiased equipment reviews. Learn how to set up your grills and smokers properly, the thermodynamics of what happens when heat hits meat, and how to cook great food outdoors. There are also buying guides to barbeque smokers, grills, accessories, and thermometers, as well as hundreds of excellent tested recipes including all the classics: Baby back ribs, pulled pork, Texas brisket, burgers, chicken, smoked turkey, lamb, steaks, chili, barbecue sauces, spice rubs, and side dishes, with the world's best all edited by Meathead Goldwyn.

Brought to you by readers like you who support us with their membership in our Pitmaster Club. Click here to learn more about benefits to membership.

Advertising. AmazingRibs.com is by far the most popular barbecue website in the world, still growing rapidly, and one of the 25 most popular food websites in the US according to comScore, Quantcast, Compete, and Alexa. Click here for analytics and advertising info.

© Copyright 2005 - 2015 by AmazingRibs.com. All text, recipes, photos, and computer code are owned by AmazingRibs.com and fully protected by US copyright law unless otherwise noted (some photos of commercial products such as grills were provided by the manufacturers and are under their copyright). This means that it is a Federal crime to copy and publish or distribute anything on this website without permission. But we're easy! We usually grant permission and don't charge a fee. To get reprint rights, just click here. You do not need permission to link to this website.