This Meathead silliness ran on the Chicago Tribune's op-ed page on 8/19/08
Are you watching the Olympics? Did you see those opening ceremonies? How will Chicago top that in 2016? Here are some ideas for how we might show the world what Chicago culture is all about:
The Chinese began the opening ceremonies with 2008 men beating traditional rhythms on drums. We can have 2016 Bucket Boys (right).
The Chinese had dancers in glowing costumes. We can have politicians in orange jump suits.
They had a light show and fireworks. We can have little white Christmas tree lights draped over the entire stadium and leave them up all year.
They did a giant calligraphic painting. We can use spray paint.
For the Olympic symbol: five interlocking pinkie rings.
Mascot? A white elephant with a crown that looks like Soldier Field.
And for the grand finale, an outfit punk can light the Olympic cauldron with a Molotov cocktail.
But the Olympics is much more than the opening ceremonies. How about some new events that will give the hosts an advantage?
Deep dish discus.
Relay races with plain white envelope hand-offs.
Concrete overshoe swimming.
Synchronized aldermen.
Vaulting the homeless.
Nepotism racketball.
Automatic weapons marksmanship.
Badminton with real pigeons.
Budget wrestling.
Blame volleyball.
Alley stickball.
Dumpster diving.
Fencing County property.
Snow throwing.
Indoor tanning.
Outdoor cigarette smoking.
Lincoln Avenue bicycle slalom and one handed cell phone driving. Combined.
Rat races.
Important Info About This Website
AmazingRibs.com is all about the Zen of Barbecue, cooking ribs, and all kinds of BBQ recipes and techniques: Barbecue baby back ribs, spare ribs, pulled pork, beef brisket, chicken, smoked turkey, steak, lamb, barbecue sauces, rubs, and great side dishes, with the net's best buying guide to barbecue smokers and cookers. It is written, illustrated, and coded solely by Craig "Meathead" Goldwyn.
About links on this site. Other than clearly marked ads, links and recommendations on this site are all products, services, and websites I truly admire, and are never paid endorsements. Your suggestions are always welcome. If you would like me to link to your website, click here to read my links policy first.
Product Reviews and Meathead's Hot Stuff Awards. Meathead's Hot Stuff Awards are highly recommended products that I have tested personally or that have been tested by reliable sources. Awards are based on features, quality, and value. Rest assured that when I recommend a product, it is really because I like it, not because someone has paid me to say so or because the company is an advertiser or sponsor. I purchase most products I review although occasionally suppliers send me samples.
My Privacy Promise.I promise to never sell or distribute any info about you individually without your express permission, and I promise not to, ahem, pepper you with email or make you eat spam. Click here for more about my privacy promise.
Buy Meathead some meat so he can work up some new recipes.
With a $15 donation he'll send you a very cool embroidered iron-on patch.
With a $25 donation you'll get a 100% cotton, brushed twill, adjustable, low profile cap with the patch sewn on. I'll even toss in a small bag of BBQ'rs Delight wood smoke pellets.
GrillGrates Take Your Grill Into the Infrared Zone
GrillGrates are the best new product I have tested in years and the best thing to happen to beef since salt and pepper.
They sit on top of your current grill's grates. The hard anodized aircraft grade aluminum rail tops are flat and wide and make perfect dark crunchy grill marks. The base superheats yet eliminates hot spots and blocks flareups. This is the same concept behind the expensive new infrared grills.
Juices drip in the valleys between the rails and are vaporized and penetrate the meat enhancing flavor. I throw wood between the rails and they impart a delicate smoke flavor. I have made my best steaks and burgers ever with Grill Grates. This is a really great new product! Click here to read more and for ordering info.
The Smokenator
If you have a Weber Kettle, you need the amazing Smokenator and Hovergrill. The Smokenator turns your grill into a first class smoker, and the Hovergrill can add capacity or be used to get steakhouse steaks. Click here to read more and for ordering info.
Product Reviews and Meathead's Hot Stuff Awards. Meathead's Hot Stuff Awards are highly recommended products that I have tested personally or that have been tested by reliable sources. Awards are based on features, quality, and value. Rest assured that when I recommend a product, it is really because I like it, not because someone has paid me to say so or because the company is an advertiser or sponsor. I purchase most products I review although occasionally suppliers send me samples.
With a $15 donation he'll send you a very cool embroidered iron-on patch.
or the 
from Amazon.
