Sturdy Kitchen Shears Will Quickly Cut Chicken Bones and Butcher String

Ode to The Pitmaster Club

From TBoneJack, the unofficial Poet Laureate of The Pitmaster Club:

AmazingRibs is where you go,
To get the best advice,
You’ll find out how, to smoke a cow,
And it will turn out nice.

Smokers, gadgets, recipes,
Charcoal, gas, or wood?
The how, the why, and what to try,
When things arn’t going good.

Selection, prep, and cook techniques,
Marinades and such,
Rubs and brines and temps and times,
And how to use the Crutch.

Brisket secrets are revealed,
For moist and tender meat,
The point, the flat, the rendered fat,
The proper mix of heat.

I found out how to smoke spare ribs,
Great bark and taste and worth,
I want some more, I’ll have them for,
My last meal on this Earth.

Memphis Dust did suit them well,
I served them without sauce,
Not 3-2-1, not overdone,
No precious flavor loss.

Jambo, Lang, or Meadow Creek,
It’s hard to make the call,
Almost a crime, so little time,
I’d like to try them all.

I’m not ashamed, I’m not alone,
‘Cause many have this lot,
But I’ll admit, here in the Pit,
My wife said Not! Not! Not!

Weber, Brinkman, PBC,
No need for budget breach,
They cook great food, just ask me dude,
‘Cause I have one of each.

Obsessed I am, I know it’s true,
They call it MCS,
I saw the doc, he was in shock,
He too is in this mess.

Myron Mixon, Johnny Trigg,
Cool Smoke’s Tuffy Stone,
Harry Soo, Chris Lilly too,
And Moe who cooks alone.

They’re all good, I like them fine,
I’m sure they cook good Q,
They’ve earned the right, I see the light,
I’ll give them their fair due,

But I have learned, thru many cooks,
This web site is da bomb,
For what to do, browse over to,
AmazingRibs dot com.

Tired of seeing popup ads?
No need to throw a fit,
Don’t you know, just spend some dough,
And join us in the Pit.

And if you travel, don’t despair,
No further should you look,
The answer’s clear, put down your beer,
And order Meathead’s book.