Demise of the fortune cookie
While I was fine tuning this recipe and seeking inspiration, I've been working my way through Chicago's Chinatown, hitting the oriental groceries (deep fried guppies anyone?), and getting to know the local restaurant delivery boys.
Although the rib recipes varied quite a bit, one thing has been constant. Has anyone noticed that fortune cookies no longer tell a fortune? They no longer tell us what the future has in store for us. They no longer say "You will...", they say "You are...".
Sadly, fortune cookies now tell us meaningless aphorisms probably written by out of work speechwriters whose candidates have lost. Many "fortunes" even have smiley faces on them. A friend calls them "Proverb Cookies." And when did fortune cookie manufacturers start putting lottery numbers on them? Like the lottery is going to make me a fortune?
The only real fortune I have dug out of a cookie lately said, and I swear I am not making this up, "Within the coming 5 months you will find 3 missing socks." Alas, it's been at least a year. Never happened.
Here are some recent actual "fortunes" I've gotten.
"He who hurries cannot walk with dignity." Tell that to my wife.
"A happy family is important to you." I've seen better T-shirts. Like "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
"Preparation is important." Clearly stolen from the Boy Scouts.
"Fashion is temporary. Invest in Passion." Passion Communications is a privately held Canadian Corporations. Thanks a lot.
"Strength and sensitivity are not opposites." Maybe that's why I cry at sad movies.
"You find beauty in ordinary things. Keep this trait." Actually, this one came in handy. It saved my rock collection from my wife's garage sale.
I want to see fortune cookies that say things like this:
"Take the train tomorrow unless you want to ruin the new paint job on your car."
"Your tech stocks are going to tank."
"No need to water your garden next week. Get to know your neighbor, Noah."
"Make Chinese ribs tonight. Get lucky."
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If you don't want to fry
Braised Riblets. Braise them by simmering them in the marinade in a Dutch oven or covered pot for 1 hour.
Roast Riblets. Spread the ribles on a broiler pan or wire grate above a pan and bake at 225F for 4 hours, turning them once.
Barbecue Riblets. Roast them on a grill using indirect heat at 225F for 4 hours. Use the techniques described here for gas grill and here for charcoal grill. Skip the wood smoke, it clashes with the other flavors.
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 Pork by mail
2007 was the Chinese year 4708, the Year of the Pig, and China released stamps to commemorate the event. They are being sold on eBay. And no, they don't taste like sweet and sour pork.
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Chinese Five Spice Riblets Recipe
These wonderfully flavorful half size rib nibbles make a great appetizer for a party. They are flavored with an aromatic Chinese spice mix, five spice powder (for more info about five spice powder click here).
To make these perfect bite-size finger foods as a party dish, the ribs are cut in half lengthwise at the butcher. They are marinated and deep fried to a golden color. If you don't want to fry, they can be braised, roasted, and barbecued.
Recipe
Yield. 24-28 half riblets
Preparation time. 15 minutes
Marinating time. 2-4 hours
Cooking time. Frying takes 5 minutes per batch and a total of about 30-40 minutes
The ribs
1 slab St. Louis cut spare ribs (about 3 pounds). If you plan to fry the riblets, be sure to buy St. Louis cut spare ribs because they are flat and baby backs are too curved to fry properly. Remember, St. Louis cut ribs have the rib tips removed. If you're not clear on the differences, see this article on the different rib cuts. Have your butcher cut the slab in half lengthwise with a bandsaw so that you have two mini slabs with bones that are only about 2-3" long. If you can't get this done by the butcher, cut the slab into individual bones and then cut them in half with a Chinese meat cleaver.
Marinade
3 cups rice wine (you can use sake or any good dry white wine)
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup unseasoned rice vinegar (or 1/4 cup distilled vinegar)
3 tablespoons five spice powder
3 tablespoons dark soy sauce
4 teaspoons hot pepper sauce for mild heat, use more if you like it hot
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon corn starch
The crispy stuff
1/2 cup cornstarch
1 teaspoon five spice powder *
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon sugar
2-3 cups peanut oil for frying
The garnish
1/4 cup sesame seeds, toasted lightly in a dry 12" frying pan
3 scallions, chopped into rings
About the Chinese ingredients. If you have trouble finding Chinese ingredients in your grocery store, try AsianFoodGrocer.com
Do this
1) Mix the marinade ingredients thoroughly in a non-reactive 1-2 quart bowl.
2) Skin & trim the ribs. Slice the two half slabs into individual mini ribs and submerge them in the marinade in the refrigerator for 2-4 hours.
3) When you are ready to start cooking, place the cornstarch on a plate and mix in 2 tablespoons five spice powder and 2 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper.
4) Remove the ribs from the marinade and drain them in a strainer or colander, but do not rinse or dry them. Save the marinade.
5) Roll the ribs around in the cornstarch mix until lightly coated. Set them on a clean plate. If you have a deep fryer, get it out and fire it up. If not, in a large, deep skillet (preferably cast iron), pour in the peanut oil until it is about 1 inch deep. Heat the oil to 375F. Use a thermometer. Add half the ribs to the pan, but don't crowd them. They should't touch or else they wont fry properly. Fry the ribs in two batches until golden all over, about 5 minutes. Drain them for a few minutes on a cookie pan covered with paper towels. Keep the first batch warm in a 250F oven while you are frying the second batch.
6) Make the sauce by discarding all but one cup of the marinade, whisk in 1 tablespoon of cornstarch, and heat it over medium flame until it thickens, burbles, becomes translucent, and turn it down to the lowest temp.
7) Move the riblets to a serving platter, pour just enough sauce to lightly cover them, and sprinkle sesame seeds and chopped green onions on top.
This page was revised 8/3/2008
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