Keep the condiments simple and let the beef shine through
According to a survey by the Hearth, Patio & Barbecue Association (HPBA), adult Americans report they use ketchup most often (66% of respondents), with mustard (62%) close behind. The PBS show “Cheese, please!” says 66%, while 74% add lettuce, onion and/or tomato. Women lean towards the veggies more than men (80% vs. 68%), and 70% say they prefer a traditional bun to complete their grilled sandwiches. According to a survey by Johnny Rockets hamburger chain, ketchup rules the condiments and is the most preferred topping (63%), followed by mustard (50%) and mayonnaise (42%). Other popular toppings include lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles. Fewer than 2% said that they prefer their hamburgers plain. Click here for some thought on what else to put on a burger and where to put it.
Most folks put their sauces on top of the patty, but I disagree with this strategy. I put the liquid stuff on the bottom so it can soak into the bun, coat the meat, mix with the juices that drip down, and anchor the patty in place, especially since you only have your thumbs to hold the bottom bun. Some folks like to put lettuce on the bottom to act as a barrier between the burger juices and the bun in an attempt to keep the bottom bun dry. But I disagree with this strategy. With lettuce on the bottom, the patty slides around too much and two thumbs are not enough to control it. On top of the patty is where I put this big slippery stuff because you have eight fingers to manage the top.
Some other bottomings
Here are some other bottomings you might want to try either solo or in a blend: Ketchup, mustard (or mustard sauce), mayo, steak sauce, Kansas City style barbecue sauce, thousand island dressing, salsa, remoulade sauce, balsamic vinegar reduction, aioli, chimichurri sauce, tonkatsu sauce, mayo with a few drops of sesame oil mixed in, hot sauce in sour cream, smashed avocado or guacamole, horseradish cream sauce, sweet-sour pickle relish, roasted garlic, minced jalapeño, or giardiniera.
Toppings
The famous Build A Better Burger Contest seems to be all about the condiments. Me? Some of these concoctions sound wonderful, but they are just too fussy and hide the meat. I’m fine with lettuce, tomato, and onion. Period. OK, maybe two strips of thick bacon. I’m not even a big fan of cheeseburgers.
Lettuce. I want crisp, cold lettuce that crunches and squirts cold water on top of the hot meat juices. This is the perfect use for iceberg or Romaine lettuce. Especially the thick bottom parts.
Tomatoes. As for the tomatoes, try to find big beefsteak style tomatoes the same diameter as the patty. When you use small slices, they move around too much and usually fall out. Always use ripe tomatoes, no underripe pink rocks. They’re too acidic. Nowadays you can often find real ripe tomatoes all year ’round that are grown in greenhouses. Campari tomatoes are grown in a greenhouse, usually grown hydroponically (in nutrient solutions and inert media like gravel, no dirt), about the size of golf balls and almost always delicious, perfectly ripe, and juicy. Interestingly, many come from Toronto. Plum tomatoes are less juicy if you want more substance. If I can’t find ripe tomatoes, I live without them.
Onions. As with the tomatoes, I like a single thin slice of raw onion the same diameter as the patty. In season, I go for a slice of sweet onion like Vidalia (May through July) or Walla Walla (June through August). If they are not in season, it’s red onion for me. Sometimes I put the onion on top of the burger while it’s on the grill to take the edge off and make it less slippery. If you’re making a cheeseburger, you can anchor the onion in place by putting the cheese on top. Just don’t slice the onions long in advance. Onion slices or chopped onion can get really stanky when it sits around for an hour or more. They taste best when freshly sliced.
Many people prefer grilled, griddled, or caramelized onions. I have a soft spot for these, but they’re slippery, and they’re a bit sweet for me for regular burgers, although I love them on cheeseburgers. A lot of pubs like to top burgers with breaded fried onion rings. I’ve even enjoyed burgers with those crunchy fried onions from the can, and I’ve seen menus with pickled onions.
Cheese. Put cheese on it and you’ve made a cheeseburger. In parts of the Southeast, pimento cheese spread supplants both the melted cheese of the cheeseburger and the need for ketchup or other sauces. More on that soon.
Bacon. What doesn’t go well with bacon? Add bacon and you get smokiness, sweetness, and saltiness. A remarkable variation on the theme is, are you sitting, pastrami as served at Hymie’s in Merion Station, PA. Click here to learn how to make your own bacon or pastrami.
Stylin’. If you agree with McNair and want to do some stylin’, try: my recipe for sweet sour pickle slices, pickle relish, grilled tomato, roasted red peppers, sautéd mushrooms, thinly sliced pears or apples, potato chips, or slaw. Or go to his website, which has some amazingly creative creations.
In Chicago, the spectacular Kuma Burger at Kuma’s Corner has a sunny side egg on top to complete the steak and eggs combo.
In LA it is not hard to find crumbled spicy Mexican style chorizo sausage on top, a sort of South of the Border chiliburger.
Then there’s the pizza burger topped with tomato sauce and melted mozzarella cheese. Or the Carolina Pimento Cheeseburger, Green Chile Cheeseburger, Beanburger, or one of the other regional styles. How about a “Guberburger,” topped with peanut butter and served at the now deceased Wheel Inn Drive-In in Sedalia, MO? Or the “Nutburger” at Matt’s in Butte, MT, which has a blanket of chopped salted peanuts mixed with Miracle Whip. How far would you drive for one of those?
My favorite combos
Steakhouse Steakburger. Bottomings: 1 tablespoon Meathead’s Glop. Toppings: 1/4″ slice raw sweet onion (Vidalia, Walla Walla), 1 leaf crunchy iceberg or Romaine lettuce, 1/4″ slice wide tomato (only if ripe otherwise skip it), 2 slices of bacon, not too crunchy.
Cheeseburger. Bottomings: 1 tablespoon Meathead’s Glop. Toppings: 1/8″ slice of cheddar, 2 thick slices of bacon, griddled or caramelized onions.
Did I miss something? Let me know what you like on your burgers by adding your favorite items to the comments at the bottom of the article.
Burger Glop Recipe
Makes:
Takes:
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup mayonnaise
- 1/2 cup Kansas City Style Barbecue Sauce or ketchup
- 3 tablespoons yellow ballpark style mustard
- 1 tablespoon hot sauce (I use Tabasco Chipotle)
- 1/2 teaspoon Morton Coarse Kosher Salt
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
These recipes were created in US Customary measurements and the conversion to metric is being done by calculations. They should be accurate, but it is possible there could be an error. If you find one, please let us know in the comments at the bottom of the page
Method
- Whisk everything together in a bowl until smooth. Take the day off. Obviously nothing is set in concrete about this recipe. You can vary the ingredients to your taste or doctor them with other ingredients. But start with this and then add what you like. Write it down, and do it again. Don't worry about the hot sauce. It gets lost on the burger. Add more if you wish. Just don't make it so hot you can't taste the beef.
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